Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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