I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
