I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
