Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
