I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
