There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
