Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
