She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
my poor anus
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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