Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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