so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
