Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
