Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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