He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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