I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
