i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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