Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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