I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
