hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
