did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
