...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
