I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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