I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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