Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize