i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
