i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
