Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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