so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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