You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
