I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
