I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
