in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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