i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
