I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
