think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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