The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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