I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
