you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
