The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
