Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
