you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize