I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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