I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
not ubering you a puppy
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
