he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
