Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
