im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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