no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
