im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
only if we run a train.
done.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
