All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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