that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
