If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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