brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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