I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize