am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
