why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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