it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize