So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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