Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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