please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
