I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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