some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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