I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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