So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just forgot I was standing up.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize