I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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