Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
