Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
